Twilight: For Guys!!

[DarkTrinity]

Meh, I read all four books because I needed pages for my reading log in 6th grade. The story itself is okay. The only thing that detracts from it is the fanbase in my opinion.

I have no idea what the books are like, but from what I've heard, the writing itself is awful.

I saw Eclipse last Saturday (was completely stoned and with a girl who wanted to see it) and the message of the movie from what I could tell was that girls can't think for themselves and shouldn't have sex (movie metaphor becoming a vampire) until marriage. I thought it was pretty funny.

That is probably because you were, uhhh.... stoned? dur hur.
And I wouldn't expect any guy to actually love the books, because it is a romance novel aimed at teenage girls. I have yet to meet a (straight)guy who likes romance novels.

Side note: this whole Team Edward/Team Jacob thing is stupid, because in the end Edward ultimately wins and Jacob (for the most part) loses, so being on "team Jacob" is like, auto fail... I guess I just don't get the point of the whole "team" thing especially when the people rooting for Jacob already read the 4th book and already know he loses. >_>


Another side note: For the people(probably 1 person) who has actually read the 4th book... I think the 4th movie will just be ridiculous and idk how they're going to make it into a movie...
!!!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!
a talking baby that grows bigger everyday? Sounded unrealistic in the book, I have a feeling gonna be outrageous in movie format...

[EpicPhailure]

Meh, I read all four books because I needed pages for my reading log in 6th grade. The story itself is okay. The only thing that detracts from it is the fanbase in my opinion.

I have no idea what the books are like, but from what I've heard, the writing itself is awful.

I saw Eclipse last Saturday (was completely stoned and with a girl who wanted to see it) and the message of the movie from what I could tell was that girls can't think for themselves and shouldn't have sex (movie metaphor becoming a vampire) until marriage. I thought it was pretty funny.

That is probably because you were, uhhh.... stoned? dur hur.
And I wouldn't expect any guy to actually love the books, because it is a romance novel aimed at teenage girls. I have yet to meet a (straight)guy who likes romance novels.

Side note: this whole Team Edward/Team Jacob thing is stupid, because in the end Edward ultimately wins and Jacob (for the most part) loses, so being on "team Jacob" is like, auto fail... I guess I just don't get the point of the whole "team" thing especially when the people rooting for Jacob already read the 4th book and already know he loses. >_>


Another side note: For the people(probably 1 person) who has actually read the 4th book... I think the 4th movie will just be ridiculous and idk how they're going to make it into a movie...
!!!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!
a talking baby that grows bigger everyday? Sounded unrealistic in the book, I have a feeling gonna be outrageous in movie format...

I for one, think that it's funny how Scholastic Books won't support it because of the sex or maybe the pregnancy, so they release Eclipse every year at the bookfair.

[Seifer]

Would that one person you refer to be me? I wouldn't say I "Like" romance novels, but the twilight series was good. The story was great, and I did enjoy the romance. Most romance novels are lame, just like most romance movies are lame. But most romance movies are also blown out of proportion by hollywood. I love Indie romances, they are probably my favorite genre.

Anyway, I concur with you in the sense that the 4th movie will be hella !@#$ed up. Unfortunatly, it's being split into two movies, which means we have to wait double long for all that crazy stuff. I'm actually more confused how they will show the whole birth scene...

[DarkTrinity]

Would that one person you refer to be me? I wouldn't say I "Like" romance novels, but the twilight series was good. The story was great, and I did enjoy the romance. Most romance novels are lame, just like most romance movies are lame. But most romance movies are also blown out of proportion by hollywood. I love Indie romances, they are probably my favorite genre.

Anyway, I concur with you in the sense that the 4th movie will be hella !@#$ed up. Unfortunatly, it's being split into two movies, which means we have to wait double long for all that crazy stuff. I'm actually more confused how they will show the whole birth scene...

For reals. But, they might do the same as the last Harry Potter movie and release them 6 months apart instead of a year. But my guess is the prego will be in the first half and turn vamp at the end of the first half. (maybe?) lol. Guess we just gotta wait to see >_>
I guess I don't really know what to expect from the fourth movie(s)... Gonna be some crazy shit, that's all I know xP

[Scotty]

If you're male and you like Twilight, you're gay. I don't mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean it in the "you want to put your testicles against another man's testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair" kind of way.

It appeals to 13 year old girls, or girls who still think like a 13 year old.  The story is a complete failure, and is targeted at insecure women who don't fit in, by making Bella as broad-scoped as possible, thus making it an easy replacement for any woman who shares the same "I don't fit in" feelings that everyone who went through puberty has experienced.  It's shallow, immature, and a great example of how we as humans (specifically immature girls and gay guys) are dependent, insecure, and want a man who is everything a man should be... x1,000.  FAIL!

[Torch]

If you're male and you like Twilight, you're gay. I don't mean that in the derogatory sense, I mean it in the "you want to put your testicles against another man's testicles while gripping handfuls of chesthair" kind of way.

It appeals to 13 year old girls, or girls who still think like a 13 year old.  The story is a complete failure, and is targeted at insecure women who don't fit in, by making Bella as broad-scoped as possible, thus making it an easy replacement for any woman who shares the same "I don't fit in" feelings that everyone who went through puberty has experienced.  It's shallow, immature, and a great example of how we as humans (specifically immature girls and gay guys) are dependent, insecure, and want a man who is everything a man should be... x1,000.  FAIL!

You can't argue that it isn't a profitable strategy. I have nothing but respect for a director that know how to profit from his occupation.

[Seifer]

Wait, are you saying I'm gay Scotty? And not in the derogatory sense, but in the I want to put my testicles against another mans testicles while gripping fistfuls of chest hair sort of way. Because I have various conquests to prove otherwise good sir.

[Scotty]

Wait, are you saying I'm gay Scotty? And not in the derogatory sense, but in the I want to put my testicles against another mans testicles while gripping fistfuls of chest hair sort of way. Because I have various conquests to prove otherwise good sir.

So says every other man who hasn't come out, yet is still gay... Good sir.

EDIT: Case in point: Jake.

EDIT #2:  To clarify why men are gay to enjoy Twilight, here we go.  My old gf suckered me into giving the first book a go, and I only got to a couple hundred pages before I just couldn't take it anymore.  The books manage to portray the life of an empty shell.  It's some girl who is insecure, doesn't fit in, and has social inadequacies in High School.  They don't at all describe her appearance, what she looks like, nothing.  They essentially made a template of a woman that other girls who have felt the same way at some point (aka puberty, hence the attraction to younger women) can easily see themselves as this template girl. 

Then she eventually goes on to meet what women consider to be ultimate guy.  By ultimate, I mean take a picture perfect guy who is described (in the book) as having enormous pecs, beautiful hair, and even has good breath (yeah, it's in the book, I'm not joking), then multiply that by 1000 and you have Ed.  Ed is the kind of idiot vampire who is centuries old, supposedly hot as all Hell, mysterious, and then wastes his time on some social low-life in high school (Seriously, he's this good looking and he goes for a woman with the social skills of a toad!?!), and he puts up with her crap by listening to her bitching and complaints all the time.  He seemingly loves nothing more than to listen to an average template shmoe of a woman's gripes for hours on end.  Me, I'd kill a bitch if she insisted that I listen to her talk this much.

So that begs the question, what does a guy see in the books?  Does a guy fit himself into the book as this girl, vying for the attention of a hot guy?  I doubt that if in the first couple hundred pages of the first book, they don't at all describe template girl's physical appearance, they sure as Hell aren't going to divulge it in later on (in that book or any of the others), so clearly, any man who gets attached to the story and the books has to be trying to place himself in template girl's shoes and thrives off of a hot man giving him attention, hence why you, good sir, are gay!

[Seifer]

While your little story made me chuckle, I just enjoyed the book for the story, not just because I can relate to it or some crap.

[Scotty]

That's the thing... What's to enjoy when the story is revolving around a well described hot dude?

[Seifer]

Says the guy who read the first 100 pages. Most series first 100 pages are rather bland, it's all just back story and buildup.

[Scotty]

Back-story and buildup?  What were they building up for then?  Clearly they got past the not describing the girl point (I think I managed about 400, hard to recall), and made damn well sure you understood that Ed was a hunk, where are they to go from there?  Hunk goes and gets sweaty, template girl gets a she-boner the size of a kodiak bear that ate my 'roids, template girl and guy have hard times because hunk number two shows up, template girl evolves to have two she-males popping the zipper on her pants, and can't decide which hawt slab of meat is best, ultimately ending in template girl sexxing one of the two in a graphic way that can't be made into a PG-13 movie?  Remind me again of what kind of !@#$ing story can save a book about insecurity, immaturity, and manage to not attract to anything other than the gayest of gay men?  I say gayest of gay, because after my camping trip in Missouri, even our resident gay dude wore a shirt that read "... and Buffy killed Edward, the end!"  So where does that put you?

[Seifer]

That's impossible to follow up. I can't dispute your logic when you start talking about girls with she-boners. Needless to say, I read it, I enjoyed it. I'm not some fanboy, but I liked it. Nuff Said. If I'm gay, so be it. But for now, I'll still chase girls because that's what gets me off.

[Scotty]

That's impossible to follow up. I can't dispute your logic when you start talking about girls with she-boners.

Sure you can.  You're hiding behind a veil of literal interpretations as a cover up to avoid further confrontation in a lost argument, knowing me well enough, to know full well that my analogies are a figurative act to colorfully illustrate my point.  So here, I'll revise my above statement to not allow you, what you perceive to be, and easy out from this.

Where is the story to go after 400 pages of buildup and back story?  There is little to no back story with template girl.  But there sure as Hell is with Ed and Jakey.  You have no perception of where this girl is coming from, what she looks like, nothing, but you know everything there is to know about the two dudes.  The only presumable plot that could ensue after such a juvenile attempt at back story and buildup is on par with the standard and expected high-school locker gossip.  You know, the "Hey!  Did you hear about so and so, he's such a hunk... Nah, I'm into hunk #2, he's sooooo dreamy!!  I just can't make up my mind!".  Where apparently by the Fourth book (i.e. 12th grade, fourth year, how coincidental), the two finally get it on, concluding on the series (according to what I've read in this topic).  I must just be one who grew out of that phase 7 years ago, not desiring to hear kids running around say "Guess who kissed who!" as that age group is genuinely what the books are aimed towards.  I honestly can say I think I'd get more satisfaction and thrill out of watching some school-girl porn flick.

[ARTgames]

Well I never thought the first book discussion topic on stick online forums was going to be Twilight.