I need some help... About a girl

[krele]

Hi! I'm making this topic to hear out your opinion about my current situation.

Once in a school-year, we get picked to "be on watch" at our school. That day, we don't have usual class, instead, we get paired by another student from another year.
So! I got paired up with this girl... She's a year younger than me, she's really hot, but best of all, she's really cool and smart. So, we exchanged facebook profiles and mobile
numbers, and later talked on msn whole night. We didn't talk about anything specific, we were talking just because we liked each other. It's already confirmed she likes me
just as much as I like her... She sent me that Christmas where that chick sings how all she wants for Christmas is that boy... I drew a picture of her, and she immediately put
it at her profile at fb, for everyone to see (that was sort of embarrassing though).

But it's not perfect, no, not at all... Even though we liked each other pretty much at first sight, we are collided with few problems:
- We live like 50 miles apart, maybe even more, but she's living at that thing with dorms and stuff (can't find the right word).
- She had a birthday yesterday, and today she went out with friends to celebrate it... What bugs me is, she put "Perfect birthday ever <3"
immediately on her profile... I don't know did she hook up with someone else, but there's a possibility she did... It could be that
she just had so much fun and she decided to put that status just because of that, right? (please tell me it's true).

The thing is, there's another girl, but the liking comes more from her side... I like her, but not nearly enough as I like that other girl... I was
at my friend's birthday party at the club, where her friend tried to make us hook up... I declined though, in hope that I can make it work out with
the girl I like far more. What's bugging me is, at her birthday was she in the same position, and she didn't refuse to hook up with another guy, someone inferior
(to her at least) to me?

So that's it, I hope you guys can help me out. I can think on my own, but I want to see your opinions, because I know majority of this community
is mature enough to help me solve my dilemma!

~ Thanks in advance!

[havok]

if she hooked up with another guy she doesnt like you as much as you do her and i could see problems cheating down the road.

but what i would say is to keep talking to her if you truly like her that much. but to all so give the other girl a chance. who knows you might like her more.

plus its only far to give the other girl a chance seeing as how she hooked up with another guy.
im not saying hook up with her just get to know her as friends and then pick.(might make the other girl jelous :P).

thats all i can really think about right now to help with out know them irl. so just be friends with the other girl and see where that goes ;)

[Yankyal]

Hi! I'm making this topic to hear out your opinion about my current situation.

Once in a school-year, we get picked to "be on watch" at our school. That day, we don't have usual class, instead, we get paired by another student from another year.
So! I got paired up with this girl... She's a year younger than me, she's really hot, but best of all, she's really cool and smart. So, we exchanged facebook profiles and mobile
numbers, and later talked on msn whole night. We didn't talk about anything specific, we were talking just because we liked each other. It's already confirmed she likes me
just as much as I like her... She sent me that Christmas where that chick sings how all she wants for Christmas is that boy... I drew a picture of her, and she immediately put
it at her profile at fb, for everyone to see (that was sort of embarrassing though).

But it's not perfect, no, not at all... Even though we liked each other pretty much at first sight, we are collided with few problems:
- We live like 50 miles apart, maybe even more, but she's living at that thing with dorms and stuff (can't find the right word).
- She had a birthday yesterday, and today she went out with friends to celebrate it... What bugs me is, she put "Perfect birthday ever <3"
immediately on her profile... I don't know did she hook up with someone else, but there's a possibility she did... It could be that
she had so much fun, right? (please tell me it's true).

The thing is, there's another girl, but the liking comes more from her side... I like her, but not nearly enough as I like that other girl... I was
at my friend's birthday party at the club, where her friend tried to make us hook up... I declined though, in hope that I can make it work out with
the girl I like far more. What's bugging me is, was she in the same position, and she didn't refuse to hook up with another guy, someone inferior
(to her at least) to me?

So that's it, I hope you guys can help me out. I can think on my own, but I want to see your opinions, because I know majority of this community
is mature enough to help me solve my dilemma!

~ Thanks in advance!

-Hot, cool, and smart? I don't think so. Make sure she isn't crazy or anything first.
-50 miles is pretty far. Long distance relationships are difficult, and if she really is hot cool and smart a lot of other guys are going to be after dat ass too.
-Post the picture you drew, this will be in important for anyone who wants to give you advice. It is a crucial research item and should be put up ASAP.
-The other girl seems loyal and the fact that she's at your friend's birthday party mean's she is already in your group of friends. No introduction required, and you can just ask your friend if she's a necrophiliac or something.

Go for the 2nd girl.

[krele]

Quick response, thanks alot!

@havok:
She really likes me a lot, I'm positive. But still, we can agree there's a possibility she did hook up with someone else...
When I enter a relationship, I expect the best possible experience. I don't want to enter a relationship that won't work
at all... I think that the fact we like each other so much easily overcomes the distance (call it cheesy, whatever). Being
with both girls at first, and playing around just to see which is better is something I won't even consider, it's just against
my principles.

@Yanky:
She's really withdrawn... It takes her time to collect courage to admit someone liking. I remember when I asked "what's the big deal
with the drawing, it's not so special to be a profile picture", it took her 5 minutes to say "it's because it's your's", but before she said
stuff like "I just like it", etc...
She's also sort of moody. When we were paired up, she quickly shifted from "pissed-off by tasks" to "happy" and vice-versa. Many things
piss her off, including the fact that I don't like R'n'B music.
That other girl... I just don't like her as much as I like the one I got paired up with. This is not a debate which girl should I choose, it's
for helping me out to see what should I do next =)... Thanks a lot tho! =D

[Yankyal]

@Yanky:
She's really withdrawn... It takes her time to collect courage to admit someone liking. I remember when I asked "what's the big deal
with the drawing, it's not so special to be a profile picture", it took her 5 minutes to say "it's because it's your's", but before she said
stuff like "I just like it", etc...
She's also sort of moody. When we were paired up, she quickly shifted from "pissed-off by tasks" to "happy" and vice-versa. Many things
piss her off, including the fact that I don't like R'n'B music.
That other girl... I just don't like her as much as I like the one I got paired up with. This is not a debate which girl should I choose, it's
for helping me out to see what should I do next =)... Thanks a lot tho! =D

What do you mean "what should I do next"? What options are there other than choosing one of the girls, somehow dating both, or dating neither?

[T-Rok]

This is my personal opinion on your post.

But before I can fully say anything without any doubt, exactly how far is 50 miles? Time wise. Bike, car, walk ect.

I say go with the first girl. You sound like someone who is not just in it for the goods. Now just because she had a really great time does not mean she hooked up with someone. Thats the first rule of building a relationship, never assume. Just by the way you describe her, I can picture your emotions towards her, which from my experience and psychological training is ALMOST, emphasis on almost, always the right choice. I say try and spend your time with her. Don't come off too strongly, but don't not express yourself. You have to find a perfect middle. So when she says "its too far" you have to find something to say that won't scare her, but will also make her feel you care.

My friend lives 3 hours away from his girlfriend. They are in one of the best relationships I've seen in my life. But, they are Mormon, so the whole cheating factor and what not does not come into play. Really it all comes down to do you trust her?


EDIT: I didn't notice the mention of mood swings. Agreeing with venuse that its is definitely a sign of caution.

[venuse]

if the first girl does have some mood issues such as changing at the drop of a hat i would be cautious, people with wild mood swings can be difficult to be around and you may find yourself having a hard time later down the line. i personally would avoid people with mood swings, i prefer people with level heads. now i see nothing wrong with shyness, in fact i think it is cute.

frankly i would say hold off on dating the first and get to know both alittle better, if im not confusing who has the mood swings. however considering the first lives 50 miles away it may be better to focus on the second.

thats my 2 cents and i wish you luck with who ever you decide to be with :)

[Matty_Richo]

I would say, get to know them a lot more, talk to them, and only after you know them a lot more, see if you really like them, after you know their personality, likes/dislikes etc...

[Seifer]

Not sure how far 50 miles is in terms of time. Can you commute? Are you in the city.

Anyway, I've been in a similar situation, and I don't regret it, and I wish I never ended up. I was with a girl named Briallen through a decent bit of Highchool, we went to school together, she a year younger, but we of course didn't drive, and she lived say, half an hour away. We didn't get to see eachother too often outside of school. I regret ever leaving her, no girl stacks up to her, and I always regret it. So go for it man, you really like this lady, so make it work. You can see her at school everyday, and if your in the city to commute, or one of you drives, or your parents are awesome, than you set.

Also, about her good night, she doesn't need to !@#$ around to have one, and if she did, so what? It's not like you are dating, so she's allowed. Don't let it get under your skin.

[krele]

@Matty:
I really don't have as much time as you think I have... Keep in mind both are looking really hot, and guys are pretty much killing each other over them. That's the whole point, I don't know her as much as I want to before entering a relationship, not nearly enough. But since we like each other that much, I'm ready to take a risk. However, there's a fine line between taking risks and being plain stupid, so I want to hear your opinion.

@Venuse:
We just talked a bit on msn... And I asked her about it. She said she just had a bad day, and how she wasn't her usual self. I don't see anything wrong with being shy, but it can get pretty annoying trying to draw everything out of her mouth... I am a person full of patience, but even that has limits. Again, I don't have much time... She's maybe already screaming at me for not asking her out already, and when her patience runs out, she might give it up. Not to mention that once another guy shows some liking to her, she might think that it's over between her and me and be in "prisoner's dilemma" whether we can make this happen or not. Thanks a lot! =D

@T-Rok:
I was wrong about the distance. It's around 50 KILOMETERS, or should I say, an hour and half by train (or so, I'm not good with measures). Well, I still need to admit the possibility, I'm not assuming, I'm asking for your opinions, and you helped me a lot now! But again, I don't know how patient she is... Considering the time we talked together, she maybe even wants me to ask her out at this very moment... I've been really careful not to say too much, but she wasn't. If I don't state my feelings soon, she might feel that I don't like her at all. But then again, if I do state my feelings now, and end up with her saying that she's afraid of long-distance commitment, I don't know what to say to her... I'm being realistic, it is really far away, I don't want to make her feel like it's not a big deal when it really is. I want her opinion whether or not does SHE think it's possible.

@Seifer:
I made a mistake, it's around 50 kilometers. I'm in the city, and she's in another. That's good to hear... I'm sorry about you two breaking up =/. Thanks for the encouragement! The thing is, in few months I'll be 18, that's the age when we're allowed to drive here. I already discussed the commuting matter with her... Oh yeah, my parent are really awesome, too =).

@All:
Keep in mind that we're attending same high-school. It's not a problem to meet during breaks, but the real nuisance are weekends and spring/winter/summer breaks... That will be the time when she could cheat on me, and whatnot, and there is literally no way for me to find out. But then again, she's in this same situation... Meh, it pretty much lays on whether we could trust each other so much.


Thanks a lot! =D

[Seifer]

With that said, I think you should most certainly choose her than. An hour and a half commute isn't THAT bad. Take up reading, the time will fly, or at the very least, throw a movie on your Ipod. Is she worth it? If you think she's worth an hour and a half commute, than she's the one for you.

By the way, props on growing up. I don't mean to sound condescending, but the Krele I remember was much less mature. It's enjoyable to watch us all grow up.

[krele]

With that said, I think you should most certainly choose her than. An hour and a half commute isn't THAT bad. Take up reading, the time will fly, or at the very least, throw a movie on your Ipod. Is she worth it? If you think she's worth an hour and a half commute, than she's the one for you.

By the way, props on growing up. I don't mean to sound condescending, but the Krele I remember was much less mature. It's enjoyable to watch us all grow up.

That's what I think too... I think it's easy to overcome such an obstacle. Waiting was never a problem for me, all I need is my phone full of music =)

Thanks, I appreciate your honesty and encouragement =)

[T-Rok]

I'm with Seifer all the way. Other than that all I can say is go for broke with the whole if you don't tell her she won't think you like her thing. Oh, and also stop assuming the worst, its bad. While in comparison the measily 30 minutes I walk every day to see my gf is nothing to an hour and a half car ride, if I throw in -40 degrees temperature we have right now perhaps it can somewhat compare and make for a good example of what you should do.

Re-read a little more: She doesn't have to think it is possible, you have to prove that it is possible. Being a guy in a good relationship is a lot of work. :P

[krele]

I'm with Seifer all the way. Other than that all I can say is go for broke with the whole if you don't tell her she won't think you like her thing. Oh, and also stop assuming the worst, its bad. While in comparison the measily 30 minutes I walk every day to see my gf is nothing to an hour and a half car ride, if I throw in -40 degrees temperature we have right now perhaps it can somewhat compare and make for a good example of what you should do.

Re-read a little more: She doesn't have to think it is possible, you have to prove that it is possible. Being a guy in a good relationship is a lot of work. :P

Yeah, perhaps I should look at this more optimistically... I've been in same situation as you are, walking like that every day isn't easy at all...

[venuse]

just to let you know 50 kilometers is 31.05 miles. so traveling as 60 mph, or 96.6 kph, would take about 31 mins which isnt too bad
kilometer to miles
kilometer/1.61= miles
mph to kph
mph x 1.61= kph