The Tesla Shield

[Lucifer]

http://www.lifetechnology.com/teslashield.htm
Oh god.. Ahaha.. wow...
I don't even..
Yeah...

One of the google ads up top, laughing my ass off right now...

When The Tesla Shield? is held in the hand or worn as a pendant, the user's Light Quotient rapidly increases to approximately 80,000 - 85,000 angstroms.

Aaaahahahaaahhahaha

Benefits Of Using The Tesla Shield? Include:

Protection Against Harmful Electromagnetic Radiation (AKA EMF EMR EMP)
Heals Strengthens And Protects Mind Body And Soul
Balances And Enhances The Biophysical Energy Field
Promotes Mental Clarity Focus And Concentration
Promotes A Sense Of Balance And Centeredness
Promotes Feelings Of Love Joy Peace And Happiness
Helps You Become Relaxed Harmonious Peaceful And Calm
Neutralizes Disharmonious Or Negative Energies
Clears Negative Energies Of Cosmic Or Telluric Origin
Helps To Releases Blockages Or Stagnant Energy
Awakens And Enhances Psychic And Healing Abilities
Ideal for Healers, Lightworkers and Channelers
Expands Consciousness And Awareness
Rapid Revitalisation Of The Organism
Diminishes Fatigue And Tiredness
Enhances Physical Strength And Stamina
Improves Sleep
Retards Aging
Acts As A 24/7 Passive Psychic Shield
Energises Food And Water
Stimulates The Third Eye Chakra Improving Intuition And Creativity
Assists Connection To The Divine Source
Empowers Meditation And Prayer
Facilitates Ascension
Increases Synchronicity
Enhances Manifesting Abilities
Assists Astral Projection And Lucid Dreaming
Suitable For Adults And Children Of Any Age
Beneficial For Pets Animals And Plants
Use As A Pendulum In Chakra And Aura Balancing
Use As A Transmitter Pendulum In Distant Healing
Use As A Tuning Pendulum In Radionics
Use As A Pendulum For Radiesthesia And Dowsing

ORDER THE TESLA SHIELD? STANDARD VERSION 1.0 @ $199.95

HAHAHHAAAAHAHAHAHA...

[God-I-Suck]

Is it supposed to be a dildo or something?

[Lingus]

Bwaahhahahhaah!!!

Tachyons!? Bioactive? Zeusite!?

What in the crap?

This is science fictional.

It's crazy to think that someone can take a random metal container, shove it full of junk, make up some shitty Star Trek nonsense and people will buy it!

Edit: HOlY! $200!?

I'm in the wrong business. I should be scamming people for a living.

[ARTgames]

I WANT 12!

[EpicPhailure]

What the hell is a light quotient.

[NotoriousM4^]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

[Lucifer]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

Oh wow..
That's.. that's wonderful.

[ARTgames]

cant leave out the
http://www.dvdrewinder.com/

[Aqua]

Benefits Of Using The Tesla Shield? Include:

Protection Against Harmful Electromagnetic Radiation (AKA EMF EMR EMP)
Heals Strengthens And Protects Mind Body And Soul
Balances And Enhances The Biophysical Energy Field
Promotes Mental Clarity Focus And Concentration
Promotes A Sense Of Balance And Centeredness
Promotes Feelings Of Love Joy Peace And Happiness
Helps You Become Relaxed Harmonious Peaceful And Calm
Neutralizes Disharmonious Or Negative Energies
Clears Negative Energies Of Cosmic Or Telluric Origin
...

Pretty much all of this is the Demonics, the audience of this are probably witches. If they buy it, then they're retarded witches. Whether you believe witches have power or not, they are out there, and they do (or try to) things. I highly doubt that this has any supernatural power (though I believe that objects can be enchanted/cursed), if some witch bought this and it had no powers, the witch would probably cast (or try to) some nasty curses on Life Technology.

Rather than finding this funny, I found it sad. Sad that people try to sell rediculous things like this- at a stupid price, and sad that they chose to theme it as spiritualism to market to the obsessed and most likely gullible spiritualists.

Edit: On the DVD rewinder I was tempted to buy a T-Shirt, so I looked at the price- $5. Probably most people would be willing to buy it just as one of those joke shirts, but apparently this is a scam too- even the logo is pasted onto the shirt image.
Both these sites had cruddy graphics... Lingus and I should set up a scam site using proper believable quality. Maybe Scotty would join...
~Aqua

[ARTgames]

not a bad idea. What would you sell? All the internet on one floppy disk? Invisible lasers? A snipe tracker?

[Lingus]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

As funny as that is to watch them use, it looks like it would actually work.

Lingus and I should set up a scam site using proper believable quality.

Can we sell holy water? Please?? Blessed by the Pope Himself-- No, better yet, taken from the river which Jesus Himself was baptised. Then blessed by the Pope! No, every Pope ever!! This rare ration of Holy Water has been stored and kept by a sacred order of monks. Sensing the great evil in the world, and the obvious impending doom of End Times that will shortly arrive, the monks have decided to sell off the entire stock. A single vial of this Holiest of Waters will mean salvation for eternity. $5,000 an ounce is a small price to pay. Get one for your whole family!

Now that's believable!

[Titan]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

As funny as that is to watch them use, it looks like it would actually work.

Lingus and I should set up a scam site using proper believable quality.

Can we sell holy water? Please?? Blessed by the Pope Himself-- No, better yet, taken from the river which Jesus Himself was baptised. Then blessed by the Pope! No, every Pope ever!! This rare ration of Holy Water has been stored and kept by a sacred order of monks. Sensing the great evil in the world, and the obvious impending doom of End Times that will shortly arrive, the monks have decided to sell off the entire stock. A single vial of this Holiest of Waters will mean salvation for eternity. $5,000 an ounce is a small price to pay. Get one for your whole family!

Now that's believable!

I'd buy some...

[EpicPhailure]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

As funny as that is to watch them use, it looks like it would actually work.

Lingus and I should set up a scam site using proper believable quality.

Can we sell holy water? Please?? Blessed by the Pope Himself-- No, better yet, taken from the river which Jesus Himself was baptised. Then blessed by the Pope! No, every Pope ever!! This rare ration of Holy Water has been stored and kept by a sacred order of monks. Sensing the great evil in the world, and the obvious impending doom of End Times that will shortly arrive, the monks have decided to sell off the entire stock. A single vial of this Holiest of Waters will mean salvation for eternity. $5,000 an ounce is a small price to pay. Get one for your whole family!

Now that's believable!

But if you call now, we'll reduce it to 1000 payments of $6! That's right, only 1000 payments of $6!

[Lingus]

That's right, only 1000 payments of $6!

How can you pass up a deal like that!!

[Snakeman]

The only thing better than the Telsa Shield is the brand new trend in Excercise. This is NotoriousM4 introducing the SHAKE WEIGHT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S3C4AC908w

Oh wow..
That's.. that's wonderful.

If anything, the only muscles that thing will buff are the dick-stroking muscles. I mean look at it, it's the same thing as jobbin' your nob. I mean, after all, they DID say it was designed for women. Probably for the sole purpose of pleasing your man better!